Wotcher, Diary!
by Starberry-Cupcake
Summary: A glimpse inside Tonks' diary, the one she had from her childhood, to her teenage years, to her days in the Order and also when she met that special someone...that special someone who also got to read her diary...


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter; if I did, I'd sell butterbeer in supermarkets.

**Pairing:** Lupin & Tonks, again, I know.

**When it takes place: **From Tonks' chilhood to the beginning of Deathly Hallows.

**Raiting:** T, for implications and very little language. I don't know if it would fit in K+...

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><p><strong><span>Wotcher, Diary!<span>**

Wotcher, Diary!

Mom bought u for my birthday and I thing ur the lamest present evur. But mom says I have to write stuff that happens, so here: hi.

Love,

Not _Nymphadora_ Tonks…I still can't get mom and dad to give me a bettr name…that'd be a present! It took me a while to write it there too

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><p>Wotcher, Diary!<p>

I've started school! And I was sorted in Hufflepuff. Mom was so happy, maybe because she was scared I was in Slytherin like her…as if I looked as a Slytherin. Gotta go to class! I hope I don't trip with something.

Love,

_Still_ Nymphadora Tonks…hope no one makes fun of my name.

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><p>Wotcher, Diary!<p>

Here I am, third year of Hogwarts. It's not horrible but I still can't make _good_ friends. I'm like the weirdo in an already weird world, which isn't a good thing to say. Yes, I'm the funny one in class, and no one 'hates' me, just the Slytherin ones who are aware that I'm a 'Black' (or half one). But still, I don't have any _good_ friends. I need someone who understands me…

See you later!

Still _not_ Nymphadora Tonks

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><p>Wotcher, Diary!<p>

Can you believe I'm graduating? I can't…time goes fast. And I don't keep any friend (or boyfriend, for that matter) from these 7 years. Everyone vanished as fast as they showed up…even the so called boyfriends. I would like someone who understood what's it like to be the unique one, the weird one. As if I could find another one like me…

Let's see what happens.

A bitter Tonks (definetly _not_ Nymphadora)

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><p>Wotcher, Diary of mine!<p>

I'm an Auror! Yay! I can't believe it, I made it! Finally I feel there's a point in being how I am, finally I'm starting to find a place where I kinda fit in. _Kinda_. Still not there though, but I'm hoping for the best! The bad part is that Mad-Eye Moody is my tutor and he's a pain in the ass. A constant, continuous, very effective pain in the ass. But hey, the guy's good, isn't he? I should leave this bloody whining already and go to work!

See you,

Tonks, the awesomely awesomness of awesome known as an Auror.

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><p>Wotcher, my dear Diary!<p>

Good news are in the way! I knew, after all this time working with the old Mad-Eye, something good was gonna happen! He has invited me to join the Order of the Phoenix. Yes, the Order itself. I, Tonks (_not_ Nymphadora), am a member of the Order of the Phoenix, under the guidance of Albus Dumbledore himself.

This is amazing and I'm as happy as I can be, but mom and dad worry too much. Mom is happy that at least her favorite cousin will be there to back me up (I haven't spent almost any time with him in my life, since he was in Azkaban) but I don't need back up. I'm perfectly fine! I made it into the Order without help, didn't I? Still, they worry too much.

Tomorrow I'll attend my first meeting. I hope I don't do anything embarrassing, but I'm sure it will just be full of old people and such. I'm not expecting a handsome prince in there anyways.

See you after the meeting!

With pride,

Tonks, the most amazing member the Order of the Phoenix ever had.

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><p>Oh Diary, I was so wrong…<p>

Handsome prince, that's exactly it. Well, more like a handsome bookworm…handsome, very _very_ attractive ex professor bookworm. Oh, and werewolf too.

Remus John Lupin, that's his name. He's Sirius' friend (oh, Sirius is cool, by the way) and he's the cutest man I've ever met. How did I meet him, exactly? I tripped. Of course, the story of my life. I tripped with the carpet and he caught me in his strong and very well formed arms. I looked up to see him and he said 'Are you ok?' and I just couldn't put my thoughts in order. I barely whispered 'yes' as he helped me up.

And then Sirius said 'Moony, I present you Andromeda's daughter, Nymphadora'. Of course, I lost it and screamed 'Don't call me Nymphadora!', then I turned to the hottie and told him 'I'm Tonks'. After that, they talked a bit about my mom and what was she doing lately, before him asking me about being an Auror and all. Still, I had to know what was up with the 'Moony' nickname, so I asked. And then was when Sirius told me he was a werewolf.

He turned to me in panic, as if he expected me to scream and run away. But I couldn't help myself and I let go my most honest opinion about the matter: 'Cool'. He looked at me as if I was mental, while Sirius laughed out loud. I explained him I was a metamorphmagus but he still didn't understand how I could empathize with him. I couldn't tell him the man of my dreams was one that felt odd in an already odd world; that I have been waiting all my life for someone who understood the feeling of never being accepted completely as oneself; that I knew what it was like not to fit anywhere. I couldn't tell him that, he'd think I was a busybody.

But someday I'll prove to him _I know_.

See you later,

A very happy and hopeful Tonks

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><p>Oh my goodness, Diary<p>

He is so perfect. I thought it was gonna fade, that my feelings were just rushed, but he is so freakin' perfect! Every second I spend with him, every time he talks to me, he cares about me, he catches me as I trip, he tells me about his awful nights as a creature…every time he grows bigger in my heart and I just can't deny it anymore.

I'm in love.

I'm in love with Remus J. Lupin.

I think Sirius knows, because he has made some jokes, and once when he caught me eating Remus with my eyes, he just winked at me. Maybe Molly knows too, since she has given me some 'helpful non relevant advice', as she said. It's possible that everyone knows but him…

I'm afraid to tell him, I don't know how I could handle it if he rejects me. But he looks at me with such care in his eyes and when he smiles at me it seems so honest…should I tell him?

Maybe I should just be like I always am and be honest.

A now determined Tonks.

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><p>Ok, Diary<p>

Bad idea. I don't even feel like writing this but since I don't find peace doing anything else, at least I could try get some stuff out of my brain. Yes, I was rejected. And not just once: repeatedly.

And _always_ with the same bloody speech. First he says he's too old for me, that I must be having 'just a juvenile crush'; so I tell him I'm not, I'm just as grown up as he is (maybe even more right now) and I'm sure about what I feel…what I've been feeling all this time. So then, he says he's too poor, that he couldn't provide for me if we were together; and I must say I feel rather offended about that statement. I'm a fucking Auror, for Merlin's beard! I don't need a man to provide for me anything but love and care, just as he DOES. Not even being a couple, he already does. And when all that fails, he pulls out the 'werewolf card', the 'I'm too dangerous' card. AGAIN, I'M A FUCKING AUROR! I don't ignore what's to know about werewolves and I'm not scared at all. I'm in LOVE. How can't he understand?

If he doesn't love me, he might as well tell me that. But he never said _that_. Never. Not once.

Then what is going on?

I should move on. Now without Sirius, I feel so alone in all this…and he feels so alone as well…we could be there for each other but no, he doesn't let me. And anyway, how could I move on if I think about him every night before crying myself to sleep? How could I move on if my hair can't change anymore like it used to? How can I move on when my Patronus looks at me with those wolf eyes whenever I summon it?

Will he ever see?

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><p>Diary,<p>

The Wizarding World has changed dramatically. Dumbledore has died. Hogwarts is in danger. Lord Voldemort is out there. Everything is dark and somber.

But I have happiness and hope in my heart and I can't help it.

He loves me back. He said so, before his lips touched mine and his arms wrapped me in a magical embrace. Before he asked me to _marry him_. Marry him! Of course I've said 'yes', more than once, as my hair turned bubblegum pink again, as he kept on kissing me and we forgot about the world around us.

He loves me back and we're getting married. I can't believe it.

But it's real.

Sincerely yours,

Nymphadora Lupin. (Now I'm gonna have to use the name, but I don't care much, as long as his surname belongs to me too)

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><p>My dearest Dora,<p>

As you let me, I've read your diary and let me say it was quite a pleasant read. I wasn't expecting to read it right now, but since you're in our bedroom sleeping peacefully and I don't sleep much myself, I've taken the liberty to read it. Oh and I hope you don't mind me covering you better, if you keep sleeping naked, you'll catch a cold (no matter how lazy you get after one of our busy nights, my dear).

I could see a glimpse of your life through these pages and all I can say is that I love you. And I DO understand. I understand how you get me, how you've felt back then when you were the odd one and how you were waiting for someone to complete the puzzle. I have felt it too, even for more time than you did (I know, you don't like me to mention the 'age thing'). The only difference between you and me (in that matter, of course) is that you had always a supporting family and a caring background who loved you, so you grew up with that amazing sense of self respect and honesty in you. And I…let's just say I've always felt as if I didn't deserve to be happy. I know, it sounds awful, but it's how I've always felt…until now. Sirius always told me, back in the early days of the Order, back when we were…'flirting like teenagers in heat', as he said; he told me I should let you in. He thought you were exactly what I've always needed, as if you were made for me. Back then, I thought he was just teasing me, trying me to 'get some action', as he also said. But now I see it clearly, my love, you were made for me. And if you weren't, I'd take you to myself anyway, because you made me believe I deserve love, I deserve happiness, I deserve _you_.

Even if we don't live a luxury life, even if I still am too old, poor and dangerous for you; waking up by your side every morning makes me feel like in heaven, Dora. It's more than I had ever imagine I could have in my life.

I'm sorry for not realizing this before, sorry for making you wait until recently, until things got so bad around us. But we might as well enjoy ourselves now. Just like Sirius wanted us to.

With all my heart for my beloved wife,

Remus John Lupin (a.k.a. the _handsome, very very attractive ex professor bookworm…oh, and werewolf too_.)

PS= Sorry for biting you last night, but you keep pushing me to do it and you know I can't stop myself. It's in my nature, after all.

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><p>"Darling, are you awake?" Tonks showed up in the door frame, covered only by the sheets she had taken from the bed.<p>

Lupin smiled at the sight of his sleepy wife, who was rubbing her eyes.

"I couldn't sleep and I decided to have a light reading, dear" he answered, as he stood up, the diary in his hand.

"You and your 'light' readings…" Tonks yawned "What were you reading, anyway?"

"The very interesting story of a gorgeous young lady that always stood out from the rest to become…" he handed her the diary '_the awesomely awesomness of awesome known as an Auror_' he quoted.

"Oh my…" Tonks' cheeks turned red as she took the diary from him "you read it all?"

"You said I could…" Lupin took her gently by the waist and placed both of them on the bed again.

"I know…but now I don't know if it was such a good idea…" she looked at him, still blushed.

"Why don't you just read the last entry and you'll find out?" he kissed the top of her head, as he slowly fell asleep, now much more easily that he ever could.

When she finished reading, Tonks smiled widely, kissed her husband softly in the lips and made herself comfortable to sleep between his arms.

"Thank you, Diary" she whispered to his faithful companion, before falling deeply asleep.

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><p><strong>Hey there! another LupinxTonks fic, I know, this one is shorter. I came up with the idea, inspired by my latest read 'Love, Rosie' by Cecelia Ahern, so I decided to give the notes a try. I hope everything is ok, my english spelling included, because I did it all in some hours...<strong>

**Thanks for reading! And I'd love you to leave a review, if you want to ;D**

**Luly**


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